A Long Road
by Grub5000 SJ Fan
Summary: “This is ridicules John! You're talking crap, I hated her!” “No you didn't Rodney, you loved her! Why won't you admit it!” “Because then I'll be admitting she's gone!”


**A Long Road**

**Rating: K+ (for mild violence)**

**Summery: "This is ridicules John! You're talking crap, I hated her!" "No you didn't Rodney, you loved her! Why won't you admit it!" "Because then I'll be admitting she's gone!"**

**Pairing: McKay/Cadman (like there's any other option ;P)**

**Genre: Romance/Angst/Hurt-Comfort**

**AN:- I would like to say a huge thanks to LE McMurray, Porthos1013 and BiteMeTechie for planting the seeds of the McKay/Cadman ship in my mind! ;) Especially to BiteMeTechie for giving me the final prod needed to make me write this.**

"This is ridicules John! You're talking crap, I hated her!" This was screamed almost accusingly at Lt Colonel John Sheppard through the howling winds and pouring rains on the balcony outside Rodney's quarters. Even with the torrential downpour John could see the tear tracks down his face.

"No you didn't Rodney, you loved her! And the sooner you admit it the sooner you'll start to heal! You've been locked up in your room for the last week! Ever since the funeral. Why won't you admit it!"

Every member of the expedition had been shocked when McKay had come through the gate under fire from the Genii carrying the body of Lt Laura Cadman over his shoulders.

"Because then I'll be admitting she's gone!"

_Flashback_

_It was supposed to be a routine mission, but then it always is. In true cliché fashion the natives had betrayed them. Sergeant Stackhouse's team had made contact with the indigenous population of M3Q 276 and had reported them to be on a similar technological level with earth prior to Stargate discovery and willing to trade. On the condition that McKay fixed their religious monument which had until recently granted them long life and cured them of most diseases. This was as Carson and Rodney pointed out an incredible opportunity and couldn't be passed up, so with the original team to guard him, he agreed to fix their machine. _

_It took the Genii only 20 minutes to ambush the unsuspecting team. As soon as they entered the building that housed the device, which McKay immediately announce was of ancient origin, they were surrounded by soldiers and ordered to surrender. Needless to say they refused._

_Bullets and explosions soon filled the air as the commander of the Genii – after being provoked and snarked at by McKay – gave the order to execute them. Lt Fred Theron was mowed down by the enemy instantly, the other 3 members of the team managed to find cover as Cadman grabbed Rodney and pulled him behind a crate._

_Stackhouse began taking control of the situation and ordered Weeler to help him lay down cover fire while McKay and Cadman ran for the Stargate._

_End Flashback_

As the memories that he had been trying to avoid came crashing down on him, Rodney grew even angrier that Sheppard seemed to be reading his mind. "What the hell gave you that idea? We were always fighting and you hardly ever saw us together, what makes you think I love her?"

_Flashback_

_They were almost through the gate, Stackhouse crouched behind the DHD returning Fire, McKay running past him and Cadman behind him, firing her P90 randomly over her shoulder when it happened. Rodney looked behind him to see if there were any obvious targets when he saw one stand up from behind a boulder. Just as he was bringing his pistol to bear the soldier fired. _

_Time slowed down as the bullets rushed forwards from the gun and slammed into Cadman's back. She cried out as she fell, pain written across her face. _

"_Laura!" he yelled as he turned and tried to run back towards her. His attempt was in vain however when Stackhouse grabbed him and pulled him behind cover._

"_There's nothing you can do for her! She's too far away and the Genii are too close."_

"_I'm not leaving her!" _

"_We don't have a choice." _

"_You go, get through and tell them what happened, I'm not leaving this planet without her!"_

_He didn't have time to argue as McKay grabbed one of the grenades in his vest pocket, hurled it over their barricade at the advancing enemy and charged towards her fallen body as they tried to see through the smoke. Rodney didn't even wait to shoot back at them as he threw her over his shoulder, picked up her discarded P90 and sprinted up to the gate. Only when he reached the DHD did he turn around, and together with Stackhouse they walked backwards up the steps and returned fire. _

_End Flashback_

John swallowed, "Rodney, I saw her engagement ring." When he said this McKay completely broke down, his face lost all of it's remaining colour and he collapsed against the wall of the balcony sobbing uncontrollably. He quickly sat down next to him and put his arm around McKay's shoulder. When he thought the sobs had subsided enough that McKay would be able to hear him he asked softly, "Rodney, why didn't you tell anyone?"

At first John thought he didn't hear him but after several minutes he heard him speak. "We were going to, I asked her the night before... before." This was said so quietly that he almost didn't hear McKay speak. "Besides, usually you don't have to, the rumour mill in this place is incredible, I guess no one ever thought we would go out though, no one even suspected" At this he laughed sadly "Laura... she thought it was funny, we never really went out of our way to keep it a secret, we just didn't advertise it."

"But what about at the funeral? You could have said something there." Rodney just shook his head.

"No I couldn'teveryone was too busy comforting Carson, I know they broke up almost a year ago but he loved her like a sister, I couldn't deny him that, he needed it."

"You did too Rodney, you could at least have told me."

"Yeah, but how did you find out the ring was mine anyway?" even in this time of angst and emotional scarring his curiosity was piqued.

"She left everything she owned in Atlantis to you Rodney, I found out just before I came here, the connection wasn't hard to make. I have to admit I didn't suspect a thing either, now that I think about it I thought she 'creeped you out'? "

He gave a sad, half laugh "She did at first, the whole sharing a body experience was a bit much for both of us at first, but then I realised the sort of half grin she gave me that said 'I know what you're thinking' was one of the many things I loved about her. I guess I just wasn't willing to realise it because she was going out with Carson." He wiped some of his soaking hair out of his eyes as he leaned against his friend. "We shared something most people can't even dream of, we knew what the other was going to say before they said it. I keep expecting her to say something so I'm about to finish whatever sentence she starts, and then she doesn't." Tears began flowing continuously but silently down his face, almost indistinguishable from the rain except for their obvious origin.

John put his other arm around McKay and pulled him towards him even more, rocking him and trying to ease any pain he could from his friend of the last few years. He knew it would be a long road back to anything resembling the normal Dr Rodney McKay, but he would be with him every step of the way.

**AN: - Well that's it folks, i finally got around to capturing the McKay/Cadman plot bunny that had been tormenting me by throwing ideas at the back of my head and sat down and wrote something! I dunno if it's any good since I've never written Atlantis before and rarely anything else so please review for me.**


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